The long and crazy birth story...read at your own risk!!

Wow, what a week!! Christmas day/night, I went to bed at 10:00 p.m. I woke up three hours later, at 1:00 a.m. on 12/26, with painful contractions. I started timing them, and just when they would be regular (every 5 minutes) for an hour, I'd go about 15 minutes without one - so I never woke up DH or went to the hospital. But they sure hurt!!

That morning, Wednesday, I had an OB appt at 10:10 a.m. I told him I'd been up all night contracting and in pain. He checked me, and I was 2 cm dilated and 80% effaced. He was so indecisive...ugh. First he said I should go back on mag sulfate to stop labor...I said absolutely not, that the babies needed to be delivered. I told him about the size discordancy and other concerns - he hadn't received the report from the peri yet. So then he said maybe they did need to be delivered and said we would do a c-section since B was breech. He sent me over to the hospital.

I got to the hospital and checked in; the nurse called him to get orders, and he tells her to set me up for a vaginal delivery (go figure - I've been asking for this the entire pg, but he kept saying not unless both babies were head-down). So they admit me, and I am contracting all day...sometimes with as little as 20-30 seconds of rest between long, painful contractions - I had terrible back labor radiating into my thighs. I was getting Demerol every 3 hours, but I didn't want to get the epidural yet at that point.

By 10:00 p.m. Wednesday night - 21 hours into labor - I was STILL 2 cm and 80% effaced. The OB decides maybe I'm not really in labor, and restarts my Procardia (used to stop labor). UGH!!! I continued to contract all night, though much more slowly, but then started to have some mild bleeding. By 5:00 a.m. Thursday, I was starting to pass some small clots, and I asked the nurse to please check me again...she did, and I was 3-4 cm and 90%. Ironic - they give me med to stop labor, and I finally progress...

Around 9:00 a.m., they decided to break my water, since I was still only about 4 cm. I asked for the epidural at that point, and good thing - the contractions became unbearable after that. Once the epi kicked in, they started some pitocin to try to get things moving. Unfortunately, not long after that, Makayla (A) started having heart rate decelerations with every contraction...so they put me on oxygen and started an amnio-infusion through an intra-uterine catheter to try to replace some of the fluid I was losing to see if that would help Makayla...it didn't.

At 2:00 p.m., I was still only 6 cm. I think at that point, I counted something like 10 or 12 different tubes/sensors/etc. hooked up to me!!! It was getting a little scary and overwhelming. But all of a sudden, at 2:45 p.m., I had a lot of increased pressure in my rectum, and I asked the nurse to check me again - I was finally 10 cm!!! The action picked up immediately, as they had to move me to the operating room for delivery - just in case I needed a crash c-section.

The OR was scary and freezing cold. The anesthesiologist was a moron and was so busy talking on his cell phone that he thought we were doing a c-section and got me completely numb - just in time for my OB to freak out and ask how I was supposed to push out two babies when I couldn't feel anything!! And talk about an audience - in addition to me and my DH, there were 14 other people in the room - my OB, the anesthesiologist, the neonatologist, 3 L&D nurses, and a 4-person NICU team per baby.

Anyway, I told them if someone would kindly tell me when I was having a contraction (since I could feel NOTHING), I'd be happy to try pushing...so that's what we did. My OB thought it would be forever, so was leaving the room and told them to call him when I was close. Two pushes later, they yelled for him to come back b/c Makayla's head was coming out!! Talk about mind over body - I couldn't tell at all whether or not I was actually pushing, but my mind was working really hard to focus on pushing!!

Makayla was born at 4:14 p.m. Thursday 12/27. She came out bright red, screaming, with Apgars 8 and 9. But she turned quickly and they had to briefly intubate her and give her a dose of surfactant to help her lungs. I didn't get to see her before they whisked her off to the NICU.
Then things got ugly. My OB used the ultrasound and manipulation to get Mackenzie turned around (she was breech). He succeeded in this quickly, but then her heart rate crashed - it was down in the 30's at one point, and was in the 60-70's for extended periods of time. My OB started cussing, saying, "Oh $hit, oh $hit, oh $hit," and started asking for various tools and yelling at nurses to get ready for a c-section. He told them we didn't have time to get another OB up there, to get a doc from the regular OR up there right away. Meanwhile, I was apparently gushing blood, and he had his arm UP TO HIS ELBOW inside me, with his other arm across my belly, trying to get her out. At this point, I was thankful the anesthesiologist had made me numb - I can only imagine how much pain I would have been in if I could feel that!! Just when my OB said we were going to start a c-section, he said, "Oh, wait, there's a head!" I was pushing with all my might (well mostly my head, since I couldn't feel) - one after another after another - even between contractions. My heartrate was 130 and my blood pressure was 170/?? b/c I was working so hard - I was terrified she wasn't going to make it. I finally got her out at 4:29 p.m. - only 15 minutes after her sister, but it seemed like an ETERNITY!!

She came out pale, limp and not responsive, but quickly perked up. Her Apgars were 5 and 8, but she needed no respiratory assistance, and they were able to bring her over to me before they took her to the NICU. That was when I saw her cleft lip - the peri had somehow missed this on all of my ultrasounds!!

The rest of the time in the OR, they delivered my placentas, etc, and got me cleaned up. I had a reaction to the epidural and started shaking uncontrollably - warm blankets have never felt so good!! They took me to my post-partum room, and by about 6:30 p.m., I was able to walk over to the NICU and see the babies. Of course, I should have not been so stubborn, b/c within about 15 minutes of being up, I got a terrible spinal headache from the epidural, and got stuck in bed for the remainder of the evening...IV fluids and lots of caffeine did the trick and by about midnight, I was feeling much better.

My recovery has been very slow. My body was really traumatized by the delivery - hello, OB climbing inside me! I am still having to take a lot of pain meds, and at times can't even hardly walk the pain is so intense. I am still having episodes of uncontrollable shivering, even though I'm not running a fever - doc says it's b/c my body is still kind of in shock. They talked about giving me a couple bags of blood today, but b/c I tend to be so overly sensitive to stuff, they were afraid I'd have a strong reaction, so they held off on that.

I'm home now, and hopefully will get some rest and start recovering a bit more quickly. It was very hard to leave the hospital though, without the babies, but I know they're being well cared for. Next post - baby update...

No babies yet!

I have to admit, it has been a stressful few days. I'm so worried about Mackenzie and it's hard to not think about it. I had my NST this morning, and both babies passed just fine. I tearfully told the nurses and pernatologist how worried I've been and that I really just want to deliver so the babies can be monitored and nourished in the NICU, but the doc insists that the babies look good on the NST and that it's still a little early to deliver them if we don't have to. So we continue to wait...and pray a LOT.

Happy Christmas Eve!!!

Today's tests

I had another ultrasound today to check the babies' fluid levels and dopplers on their umbilical cords. They won't measure growth again for another 2.5 weeks. Baby A still looks good. Baby B continues to have almost no fluid around her, and she is showing increased resistance in her cord, which continues to be cause for concern. However, both babies did well on the non-stress test, so the doctor is comfortable still holding off on delivery - in spite of the fact that I had packed my hospital bag just in case. :) As usual, I was contracting every 4 minutes or so, but not painfully, and they weren't concerned - they wouldn't try to stop labor at this point, anyway. I will return on Monday for another non-stress test, then I have a regular OB appt on Wednesday, and then a repeat ultrasound and NST on Friday.

Of course that's all assuming I don't actually go into labor before then!!! I did have several hours the other night when my contractions had become quite painful and I was starting to wonder if I was in true labor. However, after 3-4 hours, they calmed down on their own.

Meanwhile, I get bigger by the day (by the hour, it feels like somedays), and have a host of aches and pains that accompany the end stages of pregnancy. I have to keep reminding myself that I'm almost done!! It has been a stressful week, to say the least. And now that I got a better view on ultrasound of exactly how the babies are lying, it has become apparent to me that most of the time, I'm feeling Baby A move. Baby B is so squished without any fluid that it makes it harder for her to really move - just another thing for me to worry about!!! Thank goodness I have a handheld doppler with which I can check their heartbeats myself anytime I get concerned!

All we can do at this point is pray and pray and pray some more - as much for the babies' health as for mine and Darrell's peace of mind!! I've had a really hard time sleeping this week - which I always do, but it's been magnified this week b/c of my worrying about the babies. Say a prayer than I'm able to get some rest this weekend!!

Grow, Mackenzie, grow!!!

I had my growth ultrasound with the perinatologist today; of course, it would happen that the one time I go to an appointment alone, things start to go wrong!! Baby A (no, no name yet - but the field has been narrowed to 4 possibilities!) looks great. She's weighing in at 4 lbs, 8 oz.

Baby B, Mackenzie, however, is not looking so great. She's only weighing in at 3 lbs, 6 oz, which is only the 15th %ile. Her amniotic fluid is on the low side, and they did a doppler study on her umbilical cord which gave an unfavorable reading as well. The combination of problems has the doctor concerned that her placenta is not adequately nourishing her, which is causing her failure to thrive.

So they did a non-stress test (NST) after the other tests - basically you just lay there while they strap monitors around your belly to monitor the babies' heartrates and activity levels, as well as contractions. Both babies did pass this test, so that was one good thing.

I will go back on Friday to check Mackenzie's fluid volume and umbilical cord again, and they will repeat the NST. Basically, if at any point things look worse, they will do a c-section to get the babies out. From here until I deliver, I will have NST's twice weekly and the other tests once a week. They'll do another growth scan in 3 weeks (if I'm still pregnant by then!).

I have to admit that while the contractions don't freak me out, this news does have me scared. Friday feels like FOREVER to wait to find out more! Please send up extra prayers that Mackenzie will be nourished and start to grow better, and that both babies will be protected and healthy.

Stick a fork in me....I'm done...

Aaahhhh, my nightly ritual of which I'm becoming SO fond....take my meds around 8:00 (including an Ambien, which you would THINK would help this process along, but not so much these days), go to bed with Darrell and Anthony, spend an hour or so getting Anthony to go to sleep while Darrell falls asleep before his head hits the pillow, and then...

About 10:00, get back up, pee a few times, lay back down, listen to Darrell's CPAP machine make annoying noises, roll over (a 10-minute process in and of itself) several times....wait a while, get up again b/c my stomach is now growling...

Eat something (lately it's been Trader Joe's Candy Cane Joe-Joe's) - the only time of day my body seems to handle the carbs well enough...drink some milk...

Lay back down, get up to pee, toss and turn some more, figure out if I should be timing these annoying Braxton-Hicks contractions...

Finally get back up, resigned to the fact that I'm never going to sleep again in my life and go to the living room to play solitaire on my laptop.

Then I usually finally fall asleep around 1:00 a.m. - usually I've moved back to my bed by this point and have relocated Anthony from my spot to his toddler bed; still get up several more times to pee and/or take meds for contractions, finally get up for the day around 7:30 or 8:00.

Fortunately, my mom is here to take care of Anthony, so the one luxury I have is that around 10:00 a.m., when I'm completely exhausted from not sleeping at night, I'm able to lay down and get a couple hours of sleep. I suppose my OB would say this is my body's way of prepping me for when the babies get here - but really, doesn't it make more sense that you should go into this newborn-stage fully rested???

I feel huge, though everyone tells me I'm not, and I've still only gained 11-12 lbs since the beginning. Nonetheless, I have 2 kids squishing everything in my innards, making everything difficult.

I'm feeling pretty much DONE and can't wait for the pregnancy part to be over. That said, I am praising God that I've made it this far - 31 weeks, 3 days - and I honestly do hope they stay in the cooker at least another couple weeks. The less time they have to spend in the NICU, the better! BUT, come Christmas Day, when I hit 34 weeks, I'm gonna be praying they come out! I can't even begin to imagine the misery of having to stay pregnant until my actual due date of Feb 5!!!!

I did have 2 doctor's appointments this week. The one with the peri was my final cervical measurement. My cervix had shortened by over a centimeter, down to 1.75 cm from 3 cm, but they were not concerned, as this is pretty much expected at this stage of the pregnancy. I also had an appt with my OB, who was just thrilled at how great I'm doing and that I've made it this far. She was SO thrilled, in fact, that she gave me permission to go to the salon for a haircut - so tomorrow morning, mom and I have joint appointments to get our hair done at the Aveda salon. Aaahhhh...I truly can't wait!!! My first non-medical outing in months!!

AND, not only do I have that to look forward to, but our baby shower is this Sunday afternoon - yay!!! I get to be a normal pregnant woman for a few hours. Last time, with Anthony, I had already delivered by the time I had my shower...so it will be fun to still be pregnant this time around! I don't even care if anyone brings gifts - I'm just so thrilled to be getting out of the house and spending an afternoon with friends and family!!!!

I will continue to have weekly dr. appts, including another growth ultrasound on the 17th (if I haven't delivered by then!). My OB said I will also be starting Non-Stress Tests soon (where they monitor the babies' heartrates, activity, and contractions for a period of time). At my last u/s, Mackenzie was still breech, so it's continuing to look like I'll probably have a c-section.

OHHHH - big news - Baby A is much closer to having a name!! Darrell has narrowed the list down to 3 names - I'm not sharing them yet, but we will let you know when a final decision has been reached!

29 weeks tomorrow!

I had an appointment with my OB today - all is well. He again reinforced, as his partner has repeatedly, that I will most likely have a c-section. He said if both babies were head-down, we could attempt a vaginal delivery, but alas, Mackenzie has never been head down, and they're getting pretty crowded in there, so I doubt she'll be turning. Thus, I also went ahead and signed the form for a tubal ligation - might as well get that taken care of while they're in there! Definitely won't be doing THIS again!!!

I also had an ultrasound at the peri's office and got to take a peek at the girls. They're both growing well - Baby A is weighing in at 2 lbs, 11 oz, and Mackenzie, true to form, is smaller, at 2 lbs, 7 oz. She's always been a little bit behind her sister (except in the naming department!). So I've got a little over 5 lbs of baby in me - no wonder I look and feel like I'm ready to pop! Baby A is head-down, and let me tell ya, her head is really DOWN there! They had a hard time even getting a good measurement on her head, it's so low. My bladder takes a constant beating. Mackenzie remains breech, sitting up with her head butting my stomah and rib cage - feels REALLY good, let me tell ya! The u/s tech tried to show us the faces on the 3D ultrasound, but there's just too many arms and legs moving around in there to get any good pics.

We had dinner from The Cheesecake Factory for my birthday dinner last week. It was so yummy! We had avocado egg rolls and fried calimari for appetizers. I had the luau salad, which I love, and a slice of sugar-free cheesecake for dessert. It was heaven! And my blood sugar didn't do too badly with all of that - of course, I had already told my diabetic nurse that I was throwing the diet out the window for my b'day dinner (other than the sugar free cheesecake). She was okay with that.

We're having a nice visit with my mom, who's been here for about 3 weeks now. Let me tell ya, the food is good! (Although I was already kind of spoiled b/c Darrell cooks quite a lot too, and he's also a good cook!) But mom has made some sugar-free desserts, which have indulged my intense cravings for sweets...mmmmm.... She made an apple cake, pumpkin bars, and chocolate mousse. We're getting a sugar-free cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory for Thanksgiving, and she's going to make a no-sugar-added apple and pecan topping for it - mmmm...., can't wait!!! She's also been making great headway on helping us sort and organize some clutter and get things arranged for when the girls arrive, which has been a HUGE help. I'm nesting in a big way, and it's driving me crazy that I can't get up and do what I want/need to do!

Mom's gonna help put up Christmas decorations this weekend, after Thanksgiving - a tradition. It will be hard to sit back and watch! I LOVE putting up Christmas decorations. I did find a couple ideas for homemade ornaments that we're gonna try, which I can do sitting down - that will be fun.

Only a few more weeks - can you believe it?!!

Home Sweet Home

I am reclining here on my couch, sipping a cup of warm sugar-free chai tea from Trader Joe's (compliments of my friend Megan) - yay - at home!!! I got out of the hospital yesterday, after a miserable 4 days there. As I suspected they would, they admitted me right away on Tuesday and started me on mag sulfate again to stop the contractions. They also administered betamethasone, which are a round of steroid shots, to help the babies' lungs mature faster, just in case they did decide to arrive really early. For some reason, this 4 day stint seemed even harder than the previous 12-day stint I did there. I was just so ready to come home, and was so thankful when the doc said I could go. All in all, the test results were not too bad. The fetal fibronectin (which is a predictor of whether or not you will deliver in the next 2 weeks) was negative, my cervix remains closed (though shorter than it previously was), and the babies seem to be doing well in spite of all the contractions. They also did an abdominal ultrasound on me to check for any gallbladder/pancreas/liver problems, due to some pain and nausea I've been having, but all it showed was some "sludge" in my gallbladder. Apparently this can later turn into stones, but for now is nothing to be concerned about. I'm going to talk to my doc to see if there's anything I can do or drink/eat to help clear that out before it DOES become a problem (that's the last thing I need!).

Here's to hoping that the next time I have to see the inside of that hospital will be many weeks from now when I go to deliver!!! Thanks everyone for your continued prayers and support...I know God is taking care of these wee little ones and will protect them until it's their time to arrive.

Heading back to the hospital...

Well, despite my overwhelming desire to stay home, when Anthony wakes up from his nap, we are going to head to the hospital. I'm having lots of contractions, some of which are very uncomfortable, and I just can't keep ignoring them. So keep us all in your prayers!!

Today's appointment - cervical changes

I had an appt with the perinatologist today. Unfortunately, my cervix has shortened considerably. Normal is 3-5 cm, and my last measurement was 3.5 cm relaxed and 3.15 cm during a contraction. Today it measured 2.74 cm, which means that these contractions I've been having are starting to effect change in my cervix - not a good thing. It's not critical yet - they get really concerned when it's under 2.5 cm. I have woken up during the night several times lately in the midst of a painful contraction, but they haven't persisted in a pattern, so I haven't gone to the hospital. But now I need to pay a little closer attention to them.

My blood sugars have also been on the rise again, so I'm back on insulin - long-acting at bedtime, and short-acting before breakfast. I'm starting to make up for lost time on the weight gain issue - up 3.5 lbs in 2 weeks - yikes!!! But the doc and dietician weren't concerned - didn't even comment on it - probably since that still only puts me at 8 lbs for the whole pregnancy so far.

I'm continuing to have issues with cramping throughout my body, and the peri did feel my potassium was a little low, so agreed with me taking a potassium supplement.

The painful nerves have still been bothering me, but I'm just trying to take it a day at a time and waiting to get my new prescription from my OB next Monday. I'm supposed to get a call about the pain management and neurology referrals in 7-10 days.

I guess that's about all for now. Thanks everyone for your continued prayers and support. Tomorrow is 26 weeks - yay!

I need hugs! Hit a wall today...

Not literally (hit a wall), but emotionally. I am so thankful to have had the opportunity to have these babies, but the bottom line is that my body just does not handle pg well, and I am so done. I am tired of bedrest and contractions and heartburn and hip pain and pubic bone pain. I am tired of not being able to eat sweets when I crave them constantly. I am tired of injections and accu-checks and migraines and not sleeping and chronic pain and constipation. I am so sad every time my 2.5 yr old DS holds my face in his hands and says, "Mama? Happy? Anthony happy!" because he's not used to seeing me so bummed out all the time. I am tired of just feeling like crap all the time. And I still have so far to go.

A little background about my medical history - I was born with a genetic condition called Charcot-Marie-Tooth Syndrome, which is a sensory and motor neuropathy. Basically, your nerves have a lining around them called myelin, which acts like the plastic on electrical wire - it helps conduct electricity and protects the wire. Anyway, with CMT, the gene that codes for the protein that produces myelin is mutated, and the myelin around the nerves is in a constant state of breaking down and rebuilding. The result is that my nerves are often very demyelinated and don't properly conduct electrical impulses from my brain to my muscles and back. This causes muscle weakness, fatigue, and a tremendous amount of pain. Any kind of stress can aggravate it. I also have Restless Leg Syndrome, which can cause both irritation and pain in the legs.

Now, normally, I take Neurontin for the pain caused by this, but it's not considered safe during pregnancy. So throughout the pregnancy, I've had some pain, mostly in my legs. I have complained about it to my OB and peri, and they gave me some Vicodin. Unfortunately, the vicodin doesn't really take the pain away; it just relaxes me enough that I can rest some. But it wears off after about 3 hours, and since they didn't give me much, I would find myself watching the clock and rationing it so that I wouldn't run out "too soon," lest they think I'm a drug addict!! I was only taking it like once a day, but am in pain all the time.

Anyway, over the last week or so, the pain has gotten SO much worse, to the point that even Ambien doesn't allow me to sleep at night, and I am literally in tears every night. Pregnancy can aggravate the CMT, and I think that's what's happening. I ran out of Vicodin a few days ago, but hadn't called to request a refill (there weren't refills, and I was afraid to call b/c it had only been about 30 days since I got the last one filled). Last night was the worst; I was up all night, in tears, and nothing I did helped the pain - relaxing music, warm bath, hypnosis CD, prayer, etc. By this morning, I was a complete wreck, totally frustrated.

So I finally called my OB, in tears, and told her what was going on. I am SO glad I called. When I said, "I've been rationing the vicodin b/c I feel like a drug addict and it's not even really working," she said, "Oh, honey, you don't need to ration it; if you're in pain, I need to give you more medicine!" It was such a surprise and so refreshing to hear, compared to the response from most non-pain-management docs. The end result was that she will give me a prescription for something stronger at my next appt, like percocet or dilaudid, but they have to be on a triplicate prescription pad, so in the meantime, she was calling in a script for more vicodin for me to tide me over. So now I just have to wait for Darrell to get out of an appointment so he can go pick it up for me.

I felt so much better after talking to her, but I still just feel like I am so ready for this pg to be over (thought I definitely don't want the babies to come yet!). Thanks for letting me vent!

Appointment update

We saw the perinatologist today. All the news was good - yay! The doc did ask me if I was "being good," i.e. staying on bedrest. I said, "Of course," but then he had to check with Darrell to make sure I was telling the truth!! Darrell assured him I was staying down. My blood sugars have been remarkably good since I got home from the hospital, so for now, I'm not on any meds or insulin for them - just the diabetic diet. My cervix is still nice and long, which is good. And the babies are growing right on schedule. Baby A (yes, she remains nameless) weighs in at 1 lb, 9 oz, and Baby B (Mackenzie) is a bit smaller at 1 lb, 5 oz. And I finally gained a bit of weight - still only 4 lbs since my very first peri appt in July, but better than I was doing previously - probably b/c I'm on bedrest and not really expending any extra calories! My friends who come to visit keep telling me that I'm disappearing! Hey, as long as the babies are growing, I figure it's a good thing - just imagine how quickly I'll lose the weight after they're born!!

Darrell remains off work on FMLA until November 5th, and hopefully my mom will be coming by then to stay for a while to help out. Anthony goes to daycare 3 days/week, which he loves, but I can't take care of him when he's home. Friends have started taking turns bringing dinners to us to help take some of the stress off Darrell, which is so nice. Someone from Darrell's work made us a yummy lasagna yesterday - mmmmm.... One of my friends is going to make us a no-sugar-added apple crisp, which I've been craving since it's apple-picking time! I can hardly wait!

If you want a good laugh, you have to check out my sister's blog to see some of their house-remodeling tales! There's a link over on the right - Savage Family. The entry about trying to replace the toilet is especially fun!

Update - home from hospital

Yikes, it's been a long, scary, miserable couple of weeks!!! On Sunday, Sept. 30, I started having a lot of contractions and ended up having to go to the hospital. When they put me on the monitor, I was contracting every 2-5 minutes. They checked my cervix and said I was a fingertip dilated. I was only 21 weeks, 5 days pregnant. The doctor who was on call for my OB was not very nice - didn't want to put on the right medication to stop labor b/c I wasn't even far enough for viability yet (which makes no sense - isn't that the whole point??), and wouldn't give me any pain medication despite the fact that my contractions were becoming quite painful.

Fortunately, when my OB came on Monday morning, he immediately ordered some pain meds and got me on the right medication - magnesium sulfate - to stop the contractions. Unfortunately, this drug is quite miserable to be on - makes you feel like total crap. For one thing, it gives you severe cotton mouth and makes you feel all hot inside, yet they have to restrict your fluid intake while you're on it - so you feel like you're dying of thirst, yet have to beg for mere ice chips. So I was on the mag sulfate until Tuesday night, then they took me off. I managed to stay fairly contraction-free for over 24 hours, so Thursday morning they moved me out of labor & delivery to a regular room (with a much comfier bed!).

Alas, I was only in my new comfy bed for about 8 hours when I started contracting again, and they had to move me back to L&D and put me back on the mag sulfate. Oh, did I cry! I was so discouraged!

Meanwhile, they really messed with my blood sugars, and one day I would be high, and then there was a day this week when I could hardly lift my head off the bed b/c my blood sugar was so low all day. Since I've been home, my blood sugars have been perfect, without any insulin or medication. So hopefully they will continue to stay where they're supposed to be. Also, one of the meds I'm on to stop contractions makes my migraines worse, so I've had to have pain med shots several times in the past 2 weeks!

I was back on the mag from Thursday night to Monday morning, when they took me off it again. Tuesday afternoon they moved me to a regular room, and finally, Thursday night, I got to come home.

The good news is that the babies seem to be doing well, and they both look good on ultrasound. The day I turned 22 weeks, they each measured just over a pound, which is a good size. So I guess it doesn't matter that I'm still not gaining weight! The day I got discharged from the hospital, I was still a pound under what I weighed at my first appointment with the perinatologist.

Anthony and Darrell were both thrilled to have me home. They both slept so well that first night, after 2 weeks of not sleeping well. Darrell is doing a great job of keeping me fed. The doc said I could get up to prepare light meals for myself, but I tried this the first day home, and after being up for only about 10 minutes, I had contractions for about an hour. Pretty much anytime I stand up at all, I have contractions. Also, my arms are covered in hives/rash from my tape allergy, as well as countless bruises from the many IV sticks and blood draws. I look kind of scary!! Anthony makes a daily routine of kissing all of my "owies."

Thanks for everyone's continued prayers - we need 'em!!! I'm 23 weeks 5 days today, and these babies really need to stay put at least until 28 weeks so they have a fighting chance at being healthy and not having any long term disabilities. Even at 28 weeks, they'd have to spend weeks to months in the NICU, but their prognosis would be much better then. I will likely have to get steroid shots sometime in the next several weeks to help their lung development, in case I do deliver early.

I go back to the perinatologist on Wednesday to check my cervix and address my blood sugars, then I see my regular OB the following Monday. I will continue to have weekly appointments throughout the pregnancy.

21 Week Appointment

We had our 21 week appt today with the regular OB. Both babies' heartbeats sounded good. Baby A is still sitting low on my bladder (aahhh....that's special), and Baby B is sitting up high, smooshing my stomach (ouch). The best of both worlds!! (All you prior preggos will feel my pain!) I've been having a lot of pelvic bone pain, which the OB said is perfectly normal (though not perfectly comfortable).

Oh! Last night, for the first time, I was able to feel one of the babies kick my hand! That was so cool! I've been feeling flutters for almost 11 weeks now, but because one of the placentas is anterior (on the front of my uterus), I haven't felt any really strong kicks and hadn't been able to feel anything from the outside. The placenta acts like a pillow, absorbing the blows. But they were very active last night, and I got to feel one little thump against my hand! Couldn't tell which baby it was because of where it was - could have been either of them. There's a lot of hands and feet swimming around in there!

We have thoroughly enjoyed the cooler weather for the past week, though it is now starting to warm back up. But it was so awesome to be able to have our windows open all day over the weekend. Anthony has been spending more time playing with his sand table on the back patio, and has enjoyed watching the hummingbirds at the feeder.

Next Tuesday is our next ultrasound, including fetal echocardiograms on the babies to check their hearts. I promise I won't leave the office without the pictures this time, so I should be able to post some new pics then. We'll see what the doc has to say about my blood sugars - have still been having some high ones, even on the insulin. Of course, the two days last week when they were high after breakfast and then crashed about 100 points in under an hour were really special too...the one day, the only warning I had was that I started shaking uncontrollably. Even my voice was trembling. I could hardly even hold a cup to drink some juice!! It was pretty scary. The last few days, I've figured out my snack timing a little better to avoid the crash.

Ok, I guess that's all for now. Hope everyone is enjoying the autumn weather!

Half way there!!!

Well, folks, tomorrow I will be 20 weeks - the halfway point for a normal pregnancy! Of course, the normal gestation for twins is about 37 weeks, so I'm more than half way there if you look at it from this standpoint!! Woo hoo!!

I saw my perinatologist today...and my thoughts were confirmed...I am now on insulin. For now, I just have to do one injection right before I eat breakfast. I figured that was coming, since my blood sugars after breakfast have still been high even on the diabetic diet. Oh well...whatever's best for the babes. Between my weekly progesterone injections and now my daily insulin injections, I'm turning into a regular pin-cushion!!

Oh, and who ever guessed that getting pregnant with twins would be a way to lose weight??? I am down 3 pounds from my appointment 2 weeks ago!! That puts me at a pound less than my first appointment back in early July. LOL! The doctor isn't concerned, so I guess I shouldn't be either (his way of politely saying I had too much pudge to begin with!!). If the babies want to nibble away at the flab on my upper arms, that would be okay with me...hehehe...

My cervix still looks good, again a little shorter than last time, but measuring within the normal range. This is excellent news...means all those Braxton-Hicks contractions I'm having aren't doing any harm yet. We want to keep it that way! Baby A (no, she doesn't have a name yet) was waving her hand at us when the u/s tech was taking the cervix measurements - so cute. First she was waving with her hand open, then she made a fist and moved her thumb up and down, like she was giving us a "thumbs up" sign - "All's good in here, mom and dad!"

My next regular OB appt is next Monday, then my next peri appt is the following Tuesday. At that appointment, they'll do another growth ultrasound to make sure the babies are growing well and they will also attempt to do fetal echocardiograms on the babies to check their little hearts. I guess this is because of the diabetes. The doc said sometimes twins don't cooperate, but that they would still attempt to do it. Amazing what they can do now, eh?

Ok, babies want mommy to take a rest, so gonna go lay down for a bit. Oh, Darrell took a belly pic this morning - can definitely see the belly popping out now!!

Warning - do not disturb the emotional pregnant woman!!

Images like this one should NOT be sent to emotional pregnant women! Because they make us cry and cry and cry!!! This was sent to me in an email about praying for our troops, but it made me pray for all these innocent children who are getting caught in the middle! And for the troops who have to witness such horror. I'm gonna have to go look at some happy baby pictures, b/c now this one is stuck in my head and is haunting me!!

Belly pics

The first pic is at 11 weeks along, July 16, 2007.

The second pic is at 17 weeks, August 28, 2007. Amazingly, I really don't see much of a difference on camera, though I certainly feel a lot bigger! I'll try to take another one this week or next.

Poem and 19 week update

First, I wanted to share this poem. Someone posted it on the Pregnant After a Loss message board I visit.


A Different Child
poem by Pandora MacMillian

People notice
There's a special glow around you.
You grow
Surrounded by love,
Never doubting you are wanted;
Only look at the pride and joy
In your mother and father's eyes.
And if sometimes
Between the smiles
There's a trace of tears,
One day
You'll understand.
You'll understand
There was once another child
A different child
Who was in their hopes and dreams.
That child will never outgrow the baby clothes
That child will never keep them up at night
In fact, that child will never be any trouble at all.
Except sometimes, in a silent moment,
When mother and father miss so much
That different child.
May hope and love wrap you warmly
And may you learn the lesson forever
How infinitely precious
How infinitely fragile
Is this life on earth.
One day, as a young man or woman
You may see another mother's tears
Another father's silent grief
Then you, and you alone
Will understand
And offer the greatest comfort.
When all hope seems lost,
You will tell them
With great compassion,
"I know how you feel.
I'm only here
Because my mother tried again."

That made me cry!!! It really is a strange phenomenon, how I can still be so sad about the miscarriage and yet so incredibly happy about being pregnant again, all at the same time. But it goes to show you that a new baby or babies cannot replace one that you've lost, and you still have to grieve the child you've lost.

I had another OB appt today. Babies' heartrates are good, and my growth is good, though I haven't gained any more weight. What can I say - it's redistributing!! I did have some protein in my urine today, which is not good, but hopefully is just because I hadn't drank enough water this morning. They'll recheck that in 2 weeks. I've been having quite a few contractions, but she wasn't too concerned yet. As long as they stay under 6 an hour, I'm okay. At 6 in one hour, it's time to go to the hospital. My blood sugars have still been a bit erratic, even on the diabetic diet. I see the perinatologist again next Monday, so we'll see what he says. I may end up having to do insulin shots. Growing babies is hard work!!! And it looks like I'm going to continue to have weekly appts, alternating between my regular OB and the perinatologist. Fun fun!

18 Week Appointment Update

Well, there's good news and bad news.

Good news first - both baby girls are looking great! They are measuring right on schedule, have no signs of any problems, and are just as cute as can be all squished up in there! Unfortunately, we somehow managed to leave the office without any pics, so I don't have any new ones to post yet. They are both weighing in at about 8 oz each - 1/2 a pound each. They will do another growth ultrasound in 4 weeks.

The bad news - the perinatologist has already diagnosed me with gestational diabetes! I knew my blood sugars were creeping up, but I didn't think they were THAT bad yet. And if I wasn't already on metformin, they wouldn't be considered as bad, and he initially said he didn't think I had full blown diabetes yet. But then when we reviewed my meds and he remembered that I'm on the metformin, he said, "Oh, then you ARE diabetic!" Ack! So the Sweet Success nurse gave me the new eating plan, which of course cuts out all sweets. Even milk is considered a starch, and I have to limit it - and can't have any before lunch. No cereal for breakfast, either, even without the milk. And my fruits, which have been helping me so much, are now significantly limited as well. Gonna have to go get some sugar-free ice cream!!!

My concern is about my weight. According to "the book," written by the doc who's "the" expert on twins and multiples, I should have gained 14-18 lbs by now for my BMI. Since my first appt on 7/6, I've gained a whopping 2 lbs. And now that I'm going to be on this carb-restricted diet, I would imagine I will probably LOSE weight instead of gaining. I asked the nurse about it, and she kind of brushed it off. I'm just concerned b/c even though they do deal with lots of multiples there, it's not like they specialize in multiples. I asked the doc about it too, and he said he's not too worried about my lack of gain yet.

My cervix did shorten a bit since my last appt, which did not surprise me since I've been feeling a lot of pressure from Baby A down there, as well as some contractions. Baby A is doing a head stand right on my cervix! Even though it shortened some, it is still measuring in the normal range. They will recheck it in 2 weeks, and the doc said if I have 6 or more contractions in one hour, I need to call my OB and/or go to the hospital.

So I have a regular OB appointment next Monday, and a peri appt for my blood sugars and cervical check the following Monday. Thanks for everyone's continued prayers!

Guess what? It's actually THUNDERING outside!!!! How cool is that?! That almost NEVER happens around here! Unfortunately, it probably won't actually rain, nor will it cool things off - supposed to be 111 today plus a whole lot of humidity.

Step away from the ice cream and no one will get hurt!

This is a whole new brand of hunger. I tell you, I am starving all the time!!! And although food is more appealing now than it was about 6 weeks ago, I still have a hard time keeping enough different things on hand to get me through the day. I get kind of nauseated if I have to eat the same thing more than once a day.

Here's a favorite excerpt from one of my pregnancy books -

"It's not a 'maybe I'll have an apple and a cookie now,' kind of hunger. It's more like 'I'll eat this half a watermelon, the entire roast chicken for dinner, and this pie looks good. What are you going to eat, hon?'"

We have been staying inside, trying to avoid the ridiculous heat. I can't believe it's September and it's still over 110 degrees. I think we may go up to Oak Glen tomorrow afternoon for a picnic with Dan and Gloria to escape the heat.

We have our big growth and anatomy ultrasound on Tuesday - yay! More pics of the babies! I also have my appointment with the Sweet Success nurse; kind of dreading that, b/c my blood sugars have slowly been creeping up. (Couldn't have anything to do with the ice cream...) I'm afraid they're going to put me on the diabetic diet soon. Ugh! So much for being able to eat whatever I want!

Happy long weekend, everyone!!

Team Pink x 2!!!!!

We had a quick little ultrasound on Monday to measure my cervix (check for signs of preterm labor), and the tech was able to get a peek at Baby A's parts. Actually, you couldn't HELP but get a peek - SHE was straddling my cervix with her legs wide open! Yep, a second girl! I am not at all surprised, as that's what I've been convinced we were having from the beginning. We have no way of knowing whether they're identical or fraternal at this point; since they have separate sacs and placentas, there is only a 25% chance they are identical, though. At this point, we won't know until they're born, and even then, sometimes the only way to tell is by genetic testing.

So now we have to come up with a second girl name....any ideas, anyone???? I don't want to be calling them "Mackenzie and Baby A" for too long!

We also met with the perinatologist, who said my mesasurements are good, with no sign of preterm labor....which means no bedrest yet! Yay! And I gained one pound in the last 3 weeks, which is still not quite what they originally wanted, but at least I'm gaining now...the nausea meds are working.

I remember after my miscarriage last year, thinking, "What if that was my baby girl?? And if I never get another chance?" I guess the Lord heard my cries, because now He's doubly blessing me.